


Leave Right Now

by SatanicAngel94



Category: Casualty (TV), Holby City
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 20:36:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15155132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatanicAngel94/pseuds/SatanicAngel94
Summary: A Connie Song Fic.





	Leave Right Now

**AN: So this is set after Connie and Jacob broke up the second(?) time. If you don’t know the history between the Beauchamp’s then it might be an idea to watch series 7 of Holby City (also some of series 8, episodes 41-42).**

 

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Casualty, if I did then Sam and Dylan would be together and Connie would be in a happy relationship (with me). Also, the song used is by Will Young. (Leave Right Now)**

 

 

**I'm here just like I said**

**Though its breaking every rule I've ever made**

**My racing heart is just the same**

**Why make it strong to break it once again?**

**And I'd love to say I do**

**Give everything to you**

**But I can never now be true**

**So I say…**

 

 

Connie couldn't understand why she was here, after all this time, meeting him again. She’d promised herself that no matter what; she wouldn’t do this, she wouldn’t put herself through this again.

As she walked through the door to the bar, she spotted him. Time hadn’t changed him much, bar a few more wrinkles and grey hairs, he still looked like the man she had fallen in love with all those many years ago. As if he had sensed her presence, he looked up, his eyes meeting hers. That all too familiar sparkle in his eyes, like he’d always had when he’d looked at her, made her heart begin to race, as if all the pain and hurt he’d caused her didn’t matter. She’d spent so long trying to fix the damage he’d left behind, so why did she feel like this? God knows, she would love to forgive him of everything, to give them yet _another_ last chance but she couldn’t do that again, she had to be true to herself and protect herself from the potential hurt she knew that he could cause.

 

**I think I'd better leave right now**

**Before I fall any deeper**

**I think I'd better leave right now**

**Feeling weaker and weaker**

**Somebody better show me out**

**Before I fall any deeper**

**I think I'd better leave right now**

 

Why couldn’t she just turn around and walk out of that door? She could feel herself falling again. She could feel her body react to his presence like nothing had happened, like he hadn’t broken her heart. Yet she could not, for the life of her, find it in herself to walk away, even though she knew she should.

 

She walked over to where he was seated and sat across from him, in a vague attempt to distance herself from him, as if he were Kryptonite and the closer she got, the weaker she became.

 

**I'm here so please explain**

**Why you're opening up a healing wound again**

**I'm a little more careful**

**Perhaps it shows**

**But if I lose the highs, at least I'm spared the lows**

 

“Michael, please explain why the hell, after so long, you wanted to see me again, to talk about what happened?” She took a breath, “Do you not realise the damage that doing this could cause? Or do you just not care?”

 

“Of course I care….” Michael began.

 

“Do you realise how long it took for me to let someone in again? To trust a man enough to give him my heart without fear of it being broken again?” Connie interrupted, “It was a fucking long time and even then, I don't think I fully gave him my heart because even though the high points may have been worth it, the pain of a broken heart, sure as hell, would not have been. That is all down to you. You broke me.”

 

**Now I tremble in your arms**

**What could be the harm**

**To feel my spirit calm**

**So I say**

 

At that point she was in tears. Michael had been the only person who she had ever, truly, allowed to see her like this. It would never be good for her to show weakness to anybody else. Not if she wanted to preserve her ice-queen image. He scooted across the bench of the booth in which they sat and wrapped his arms around her, whispering apologies over and over again until the sobs subsided and her body stopped shaking. She stayed in his arms for a few moments before coming to her senses. She pulled away and hastily wiped away the tears from her eyes.

 

“I…I can’t do this, I’m sorry.” Was all she said as she grabbed her bag, stood up and made to leave.

 

**I think I'd better leave right now**

**Before I fall any deeper**

**I think I'd better leave right now**

**Feeling weaker and weaker**

**Somebody better show me out**

**Before I fall any deeper**

**I think I'd better leave right now**

 

 

“Connie, please” Michael said, his hand grasping hers, trying to prevent her from leaving.

 

Connie paused, hearing how broken he sounded broke her heart. She turned her body and placed the bag back down before sitting beside him. She hated that after all this time, he could still get underneath her defences.

 

**I wouldn't know how to say**

**How good it feels seeing you today**

**I see you've got your smile back**

**Like you say your right on track**

**But you may never know why**

**Once bitten twice is shy**

**If I'm proud perhaps I should explain**

**I couldn't bear to lose you again**

 

 

Seeing him again did feel good. They stuck to shallow, superficial conversational topics in an attempt to delay the inevitable conversation that they needed to have. She watched as the smile on his face grew as she filled him in on what she had done over the years, she could see the pride in his eyes as she talked about her achievements. She even mentioned Grace and how she was doing. He seemed happier and less troubled than the last time she had seen him. Work had been going well and it seemed like he had got his life back together. The only thing that was missing in his life was the woman he loved more than anything and had lost due to his own selfish desires, something he deeply regretted.

 

He noticed that she still had some defences up and that she skirted around certain topics. He knew that her pride would prevent her from ever truly opening up to him again but what he did not know was that she was absolutely terrified of letting him back into her life again, it had hurt so much the first time she’d lost him and another time would kill her.

 

**I think I'd better leave right now**

**Before I fall any deeper**

**I think I'd better leave right now**

**Feeling weaker and weaker**

**Somebody better show me out**

**Before I fall any deeper**

**I think I'd better leave right now**

 

 

Slowly, and after a few drinks, Connie began to relax in his presence. The atmosphere beginning to feel the way it used to, back when they were first dating.

 

She turned from Michael and took a sip of her drink in a feeble attempt to give herself a moment to breathe, to slow her racing heart. The incessant need to leave had long seemed to diminish and she felt it become easier to be around him. It was the first time in a long time that she felt truly calm and happy. Despite all the hurt he had caused her, he had always been the only one that she could fully relax around and the one person who, when they were at their best, could make her truly happy. He’d also been the one who have loved _all_ parts of her, even those parts that weren’t good or beautiful. He hadn’t walked away from her when she was behaving cold or calculating. Not even when she’d tried to push him away after her mother’s death. He’d stood by her side throughout some of the worst parts of her life, and the best. And throughout it all, he had been the one consistency in her life, especially during her first few years in medicine.

 

She had to admit, that their time apart might have been for the best. She’d been so young when they met, she hadn’t really had time to figure herself out before she became part of a couple. She hadn’t managed to out learn certain destructive behaviours and truly grow up. She’d always known that he was not the sole reason for their marriage being destroyed, in fact, she had a large part to play in it.

 

He had matured also during their time apart. He now seemed to know what he truly wanted from life. He knew that what he had done to her was unforgivable. She’d asked him to stand by her and protect her, and instead of doing what he should’ve done, as her husband, he had thrown her under the bus. Then he made thing worse sleeping with Chrissie, the town bike. He knew how much _that_ affair had hurt his wife. It was probably what caused her to do what she did.

 

Neither of them seemed to know when their marriage had turned from one of love, to one of convenience. Nor did they know what exactly had caused it. But what they both knew was that when it was a normal, healthy relationship, with no affairs, deceit, or betrayal, it had been the best thing in their lives. They had been truly happy and so very much in love. Something both of them missed.

 

Connie glanced at the clock near the bar, it was getting late but she had no desire to leave right now. She just wanted to stay here with him, just a little longer. Her one true love.

 

**AN: Okay, so I have been writing this for ages but did not know how to finish it. I hope the ending is okay. I always liked them together and just wanted to see where my muses took me.**


End file.
